After watching the husband crunch across the driveway in bare feet.
“Ah – good morning. I may have stolen your thongs.”
“You may have?”
“Well, yes. You know how, um, the potential of every action creates, um, another potential… universe?”
“Isn’t it ‘every action has an equal and opposite reaction’?”
“Well, yes, but that’s not the one about universes. Anyway, all I’m saying is that I think we’re living in the universe where I may have stolen your thongs. Sorry.”

Workmate: “Ben’s tie makes me want to vomit.”
Me: “It’s blue. What on earth about that tie could make you want to vomit?”
W: “It’s just disgusting.”
Me: “I don’t understand you. Honestly, if that tie makes you want to vomit, you must look at me coming into work every day and wince.”
W, in a gentle and kindly tone: “No, I don’t anymore.”

(Inspired by Circulating Library’s Strange Conversations.)